Here come the Russians

Hindenburg at the Battle of Tannenberg. He’s the big bellied one in the Picklehaube.

One wonders if Angela Merkel reminded Messr. Putin, in their little phone chat this morning, that today marks the anniversary of the Battle of Tanenburg, which put an emphatic halt on the Russian advance westward. Nearly 100,000 Russian troop were captured, and the Russian army was thrown into disarray. The leadership of the generals Hindenburg and Ludendorff was so brilliant, in fact, that they were soon given command of the Western front. (And, by 1918, the men were the de facto rulers of the German Empire.)

The Russian advance through August 26:

And here’s the way the Germans trapped the Russian 2nd Army:

Entendez-vous, dans les campagnes, mugir ces féroces soldats?

August 22, 1914 was the bloodiest day in French history, and the death toll of 27,000 was the largest sustained by a single country over a twenty-four hour period throughout the whole of the war. The men fell in 5 different battles, known collectively as the Battle of the Frontiers. The disastrous French offensive was centered on the Ardennes, the forest encompassing parts of Belgium, Luxembourg, France, and Germany where the fighting was the hottest (22,000 dead in three days; an unknown number of wounded).

Germany’s strategic plan at the outset of the war, known as Aufmarsch II and developed by the Count Schlieffen and his successor Helmuth von Moltke the Younger, called for a quick victory over French via a massive flanking maneuver through Belgium.

The French had their own Plan XVII, which focused on nimble deployment of troops before the German invasion force had access to its reserves. In August, the French commander Joseph Joffre decided to launch offensives into Alsace-Lorraine and Southern Beligium. You can see the points of conflict below:

The strategic thinking here is not terrible, but French tactical wisdom was miserable. They were caught woefully unprepared for the reality of twentieth-century warfare, which demanded a much higher degree of artillery support than French doctrine provided for. They were overwhelmed and forced to withdraw (as was the British Expeditionary Force at Mons, but more of that anon). By September 5, the German vanguard was within 30 kilometers of Paris.

Cry “Havoc”!

Almost all of the books I like best begin with a map or two, so I thought we might kick things off on Malebolge with a map or two. Let’s travel back to Europe 1914. Since we all already know the contours of the Continent, I figured I’d share some karten satyrischen, from a few different points of view.

Here’s how John Bull saw it:

And here’s the view of his main opponent:

Are you wondering what the Dutch made of it all? I was too:

Gotta love the Pasha cutting his own throat.

But let’s not forget that this is a world war, or at the very least, an Old World war:

Not sure why Austria-Hungary is a seal. Probably never will find out.

Finally, just to recap, let’s recall just how business got busy on August 5:

The map, in any case, is not satirical.